Time flies

Well, needless to say I have taken a LOOOOONG blogging hiatus.  I love keeping this site current, however huge busy-ness took over for a bit.  For starters, in early February, I was *finally* approved (applied in August) to sit for the NCLEX-PN.  Having been waiting to test for months (and feeling slightly desperate to obtain my LPN license before all my nursing school friends sit for their RN, to prevent massive jealousy, lol), I signed up for the earliest date available (about 3 weeks from my approval date).  But, also, having waited for months--totally unsure if I would ever be approved--I had somewhat burned out on studying.  So pretty much every free minute I had during the first half of February was spent cramming...and when I wasn't focusing on the NCLEX, I felt like I *should* be focusing on it, which rendered my efforts elsewhere (blogging, housecleaning, etc.) somewhat useless.  (Except my efforts in Girl Scouts...I have only grown more obsessive there, lol.  It seriously is possibly the best journey I've embarked on with my girls.)

Anyway, I am thrilled to say I am now a Licensed Practical Nurse, which also allowed for a step-up in my off-base clinic work--one that came with a pay increase large enough to now keep me from going into the negative if I ever need to employ an hourly sitter for work!!  I feel so grown-up now, lol.  After obtaining my license, the plan was to work and do an accelerated or online RN-bridge program.  However, I was hard-pressed to find a decent one.  Most of the in-person ones require a year of work experience, and all of the online ones I came across were not recognized as license-able curriculums in Oklahoma (and many other states).  Fortunately, when we first learned of our military transfer to Enid, I applied to the BSN program here as a transfer student and was accepted.  However, I was not in love with the clinical schedule (some rotations have a 90-minute commute since Enid is such an isolated location).  I met with the program dean last month, who informed me she would gladly reactivate my acceptance, and, by finishing my junior year in Edmond, I had knocked out most of my huge-commute rotations (saving a three-week stint of 1-2 days/week in mid-fall).  Having been through everything else these past few months, that no longer sounded very intimidating and I definitely feel up for it.  I have to take a couple online courses during the summer (which I don't mind at all) and then repeat 2 courses in the fall (Psych--because my old school's program was not enough credit hours, and Research--because they want all seniors to do the project tighter), but I can definitely handle that.  Plus, I LOVED Research and can certainly stand to brush up my mental health nursing skills a bit.  Particularly if I am accepted into the scholarship/commissioning program I recently applied for through the Public Health Service, which involves an externship as a nurse for the Bureau of Prisons.

My oldest also turned 6 in February, so we enjoyed a family celebration and a rock-star makeover celebration with friends.  We also just wrapped up Girl Scout cookie season--what an experience, particularly as a leader!  And we gained a new family member from the pound (a white terrier mix named Butters).  He is an absolute sweetheart and great with both other dogs and kids (including non-family-member kids!)--which is a breath of fresh air after living with Tunia for 7 years.  We adore Tunia, but it is so nice to have an animal that kids can actually pet when they come over, and a dog who enjoys the dog park.  Butters and Tunia are quite the pair as well.  The girls like to pretend Tunia is Butters' mommy...which makes for some interesting converstations, since, despite this supposed maternal bond, Tunia is still very food-possessive and barks or gently nips at Butters if he goes near her when she's eating.  This prompted my oldest to ask, "Mom, why is Petunia trying to eat her baby?!"  Love the things these girls say!!  :O)

The biggest thing going on right now, of course, is Matt's training.  His flight is scheduled to track-select (split amongst helicopters, T-38s [fighters] , and T-1s [cargo/UAV pilots]) at the end of this month, and two weeks ago he was starting his final dozen flights.  He breezed through the instrument (non-flying) section of the syllabus, but during this portion of the training, the students accrue zero flying hours.  From there, Matt went right into formation (flying aerial patterns coordinated with another student pilot).  This is arguably the most challenging part of the T-6 curriculum, as it assumes a solid grasp on prior pattern-work, aircraft safety, and difficult new skills that require great situational awareness and flexibility as you are working with and close to another plane.  Matt battled motion sickness his first day back flying, and then flight problems (combination of forgetting earlier work he believed was habit by this time and lack of situational awareness).  For as long as I have known Matt, he has been an *extremely* focused individual.  He tends to focus on one thing at a time and tune out all other stimuli.  There were many times in our 9 1/2 years together where I have thought he was intentionally ignoring me or choosing not to pay attention.  However, after seeing him struggle with these same problems during pilot training, he has definitely earned himself a little more credibility.  :O)  He has a strong tendency toward focusing on one aspect of the flight, without scanning to take everything in.  Understandably, this has resulted in some major safety violations, and unfortunately he must meet with the Ops Group Commander and the Wing Commander next week for an interview/evaluation that will determine if he can remain in training or will need to be reclassified into a different career field (the latter is not uncommon, this tends to occur at least once per class, and Matt's class has already lost 3 students--two who chose to drop and apply for reclassification, and one who failed out academically).  He has been out of the flight room for the past week, working mostly at base details, volunteering (today he is working at the special Olympics), and preparing for his review--while also staying as up-to-date as possible on his class syllabus, for an easier transition back to training if he is reinstated.

So, we've had a lot going on.  Mostly good, but this past week has been rough, particularly on Matt.  We know some guys who have been through this process and the uncertainty and disappointment take a lot of strength and prayer to overcome.  I am really impressed with how Matt has handled this situation so far and we are really trying to just give the problem up to God.  He has certainly guided us through many obstacles en route to Matt's commission in the first place and we are optimistic to see what route He has in store for our family.

Chili cook-off/Enid eatin'

Now that I am working on base (and *loving* my job), I am also really really enjoying quasi-military employment life.  I always loved the camaraderie and unique sense of mission and unity you experience as part of the Uniformed Services and as a contractor, I get a large chunk of that back, coupled with the great sense of purpose integral to any work in the healthcare field.

Since I started work (about a month ago) the Medical Group has participated in/hosted two basewide exercises, several commander's calls, a Christmas party in the works, holiday collections for community children-in-need, and a chili cook-off.  Due to my training schedule, limited hours (20h/wk), and the huge backlog of work I needed to catch up on after finally securing computer access, I haven't gotten to participate in as many events as I'd like (particularly in terms of potlucks as I LOVE to cook and try out new recipes on crowds--but with general home cooking, plus regularly preparing lunches for Matt and the girls, supplying Matt's scorpion flight and the girls' school with baked good treats every couple of weeks, and preparing for company/the holidays, I haven't been having a lot of extra time in that department).

I do however, love a cook-off, so I decided to enter a pot of sweet potato chili in the mix.

I initially thought I'd go with Indian chili (a Rachael Ray recipe I have been wanting to try for quite some time), but that recipe was too much shopping (would require a trip to the BX on top of the commissary, for beer) and complicated cooking (I prefer dumping things in a crock pot for mass-quantity weeknight cooking).  I thought a sweet potato chili (vegan) recipe would be fun, fresh, different--and therefore pretty popular against a sea of mostly beef and bean dishes varying primarily by degree of hotness.

While Matt and I loved the dish, I left work that afternoon with nearly half a pot left (which is even less when you take into account my spilling a bit on the way into work that morning).  I was really surprised that most people seemed to come in, get a bowl of something beefy (maybe mixing/sampling one or two [of 10]) pots, and vote based off of that.  But then again, I came in, got a bowl of only sweet potato chili (not a big beef eater, and I definitely get more than my fill on our Saturday nights), and then opted not to vote (obvious bias, lol).  As I was eating, I overheard two older men laughing at the "idea" of vegetarian chili, which Matt had warned me about--some folks are definitely more comfortable with what they are used to, and it is always hard to distract a predominantly male group from large pots of meat--particularly in a small and familiar town, lol.

Needless to say, my pot did not place, but we gained a tasty, fresh, and healthy new recipe and meals for about two weeks in the process!  :o)

Saying no

So...this week I found myself inadvertently semi-committed to not one, not two, but THREE part time jobs.  The med-surg position I initially turned down due to not being able to count on Matt's being home consistently at night came back with a flex position offer that I apparently couldn't turn down.  I told myself it was because I wanted to test out my options, etc., before deciding on one main job to pursue after taking a summer vacation with the girls.  But really it is because I absolutely hate saying no.

It was not until I found myself in tears twice this week--once at the prospect of going through the whole new-job paperwork/physical/training/orientation hassle a THIRD time (even the most flexible of jobs rarely offer flexible training/orientation hours, which means a lot of juggling) and I do enjoy having at least a couple hours of downtime/day to have a cup of coffee, watch reality television, and catch up on housework; and a second time after realizing that my dreamiest job of the three (flex med-assistant and future LPN at a variety of clinics) unexpectedly decided to start my training next week, eating up every afternoon with company we have coming, and throwing the kids' 3pm pick-up routine into chaos.

Matt and I are very good at balancing each other.  He encourages me to both relax and set boundaries and I encourage him to wear more than just long underwear when he is waiting at home for the cable repair man.  He gave me a great pep talk this morning that helped me back away from my newest job opportunity and explain to my clinic employer my situation with the kids and family.  The result: the world did not end, and things are working out splendidly on all fronts and I am looking forward to a great week with family next week that includes a tour of the flightline/Matt's plane and the girls' school Fall Program.  :o)

Weekends

Being employed once again REALLY has me appreciating the weekend.  The were times not too long ago (such as last week) where part of me entered each weekend with anxiety because it seemed like the competing expectations of all that "time" turned into crankiness/stress, but this weekend it was so nice to relax.  I did "movie night sleepovers" with the kids in the master bed on Friday and Saturday (never did it back-to-back before) so we could all sleep in and Matt could hit the sack early to recover from the week.  We still crammed a lot of activity in: a birthday party, pumpkin carving, decorating, unpacking (yes, still from our August move-in), and baking for the kids' school holiday parties (the girls will be wearing costumes to school tomorrow and walking to a local nursing home to sing holiday songs and put on a parade, before returning to their classrooms for a Halloween pizza party); plus Matt got in an afternoon of football/studying at the O'Club (Officer's Club--and the Giants won [yay/phew]) and still spent plenty of time with us.  :o)

Feeling very well rested and ready for the week ahead!!  This will be my first week at work without my predecessor, and I am very excited to get more of a handle on things.  Hopefully my base access card will be activated soon so I can actually log into the insurance and billing systems (otherwise I will be spending a *lot* of time collecting forms at the pharmacy).  :o)

Semi-homemade (as in, I used munchkins) Halloween cake pops for my youngest's class party.  Unfortunately, by the time I signed up for my oldest's, all that was left was the far less climatic vegetable tray.  Oh well, at least we are using a Mickey Mouse sectional serving plate and it includes whipped cream cheese for a dip (Big Sis' FAVORITE).  :o)

This was my first time making cake pops...and I am VERY glad I used munchkins because I messed up SO many times just with the decorating.  I can't imagine if I actually tried to make the balls, which are apparently even harder to get right on your first go-through.  There was actually a point where I had to wash off the iced-on faces with a paint brush because they started running, and another point where I had to redo the entire batch because a domino-effect ended up happening causing all the still-runny candy coatings to splotch together.  This is definitely a dessert I would like to get good at, though.  It is one of the girls' favorite treats and there are so many options in terms of just about everything (flavors, themes, etc.).

Dollar ride?

Although Matt did not get to complete his dollar ride today, due to some scheduling problems in the computer lab (he has some forms he needs to sign off on before he flies), he did get to watch all but 3 of his buddies take flight.  And every single one of them got airsick.  Which does not bode well for his evening ("evening", as in "after two meals") flight tomorrow.  On the upside, since it is in the 5-6pm timeframe, the girls will be home from school and I will be done with work--so we will all be able to hang out in the yard and try to guess which plane is his.  Provided he does not get too sick in the air, he will actually get to land the plane (the remainder of the flight is ride-along).

To help prepare for tomorrow, the girls and I took him for a late-night spin in the Barany chair and I fixed up some blandish meals for his lunch (roast beef, spinach, and onion dressing on a gluten free bun & gluten free spaghetti with seaweed, green beans, and tamari sauce).  He got a taste of what he is in for stress-wise today (not as bad as expected) and is grateful to have about 10 spins under his belt prior to his dollar ride (many guys with known airsickness still enter the program not having spun at all).

The non-student side of base was having some sort of exercise (simulated threat/emergency) today, which I got caught up in at work.  I had left the building briefly to go to Security Forces to turn in some paperwork so that one of these weeks I can gain computer access--and returned to find the clinic on lockdown, trapping me outside for about 25 minutes.  This lockout corresponded exactly to Matt's originally-scheduled flight time, so I took a ton of pictures of some other student's dollar ride (didn't find out about Matt's rescheduling until after the fact).

Need to make sure I have the zoom lens for tomorrow, lol!

We both got some much-needed sleep last night and are feeling much more optimistic about what lies ahead.  A brief convo with my oldest's teacher today about her progress in reading (she has just moved up to the hardest series in her kindergarten class--and read 10 pages on her own!) reaffirmed our choice in offering the kids a Montessori education.  The public school on base boasts rave reviews, and I know many folks whose children are very happy and successful there.  But it is hard to imagine my two thriving to this degree elsewhere.  The personalized emphasis of the Montessori child-paced teaching method and the intensive student-teacher interaction really pave the foundation for learning at exactly the right level and both girls are very very happy there.  I believe it offers the benefits of a homeschool environment in terms of personalization--with all the social/cultural-development benefits of a traditional school.

On another note, Tunia and I were chased on our walk tonight by something that looks exactly like this:

on our walk tonight!!  Naked mole rats are not native to this area, but whatever it was, it was hairless, with a short tail and buck teeth.  And it was chasing us.

ANYWAY, looking forward to watching and hearing about Matt's flight tomorrow!!

Stressors

So, Matt has his first flight in a jet tomorrow.  The stress level is noticeably amplified around here.  Matt is obviously worried about effectively combating the motion sickness thing, and I got my first taste of his pilot schedule this weekend...which I'm definitely not loving.  We have probably spent a total of about 4h with him since Friday night, and he has been studying/texting/scheduling/phoning/shopping/etc. for at least 50% of that time.  I know I am going to have to find a way to deal with it, but it is definitely hard for me to accept that he is going to be so noninvolved with the family for the next year or so.  Being that I will never have the opportunity to know how I would handle pilot training, I have to guard against my tendency to project how I balanced nursing school with parenthood into how I wish things were going to be around here.

A large part of the added stress (on top of what other students/spouses might encounter) is obviously coming from my desire to send the girls to the local (private) Montessori school, increasing our expenses and adding about an hour total of driving/gas time (15min each way) to our daily routine (as opposed to just walking my oldest to the kindergarten at the end of our block)--and necessitating me to work.  Further compelling me toward employment is my desire to not let the past 2 years of nursing/related education go to waste.  Things change quickly in the healthcare field and I certainly don't want my knowledge to go stale before I have a chance to use it.  Part of me sometimes wonders if it might have just been more practical for me to have gotten a part time job to help cover the bills during Matt's ASCP experience, because then I would a) have 2 yrs' recent work history under my belt and b) not have an almost-license sitting on my shoulder, begging me to do something with it.

I certainly don't like to complain, but it is also my intention to make this blog an accurate reflection of our pilot training experience, and as such, it is only fair to include the stressors!  Which have been flaring up for both of us this weekend, making everything seem a whole lot worse, lol.  I am sure in a day or two, things will subside--particularly after Matt finds out what he is in for as far as handling jet Gs and acrobatics go--and then things will be back to "normal".  :o)

Employment: making it work

As I've previously mentioned, finding employment as a pilot student's wife when you are also the primary caregiver of two younguns--and do not want to feel like your kids spend more time in school, at daycare, and with babysitters, than with their parents, is a feat in itself.  That challenge, for me, was compounded by the fact that I have been more or less unemployed for the past 5 years, that I may look like a nursing school dropout on my resume (thanks to my decision to leave UCO after my junior year to keep our family together during UPT), and that--while I have an LPN-equivalent education--I have no nursing or CNA experience or externships under my belt and I have yet to take/pass the NCLEX-PN.

By the grace of God, I have been blessed with wonderful fortune during my month-and-a-half-long job hunt.  While I certainly did not have a 100% success rate in apps --> interviews, for the three interviews I took part in (one at each of the two local hospitals, plus one at the base clinic), I was offered three positions.  I ended up turning down a full-time night job (3 days on, 3 days off, 12h shifts--or something to that effect) due to the uncertainty of Matt's schedule.  I am too low in the nursing hierarchy to affort a regular babysitter for one thing, and the idea of someone else putting the kids to bed at night or caring for them overnight--when my youngest still creeps into my bed every night around 2am--and my oldest around 6--went from seeming unappealing to being unacceptable in a matter of days.

Instead, I accepted a part-time insurance specialist position at the base clinic for a contractor.  I love the flexibility of this job--which I started yesterday.  Basically, I need to commit to 4h/d, 5d/wk--but can also move my schedule to 5h/d, 4d/wk, intermittently, to enable me to take off on base family days and attend the girls' school functions, etc.  I am also getting extensive training working with Microsoft Office software (which I am already pretty proficient with) and working with insurance companies (which can be very beneficial down the road in a variety of nursing positions, particularly those in clinics), plus I LOVE organizational busy-type work.  I have also never really had an office job, but always sort of wanted one, thinking it may enhance my already strong adoration of the sitcom "The Office".  :o)

Couple that with a dream position (for me, anyway) at a local hospital.  I go for my physical/drug screen on Monday, and then will take two days off from my insurance job for orientation--and then I get to work as a flex clinic Med Assistant (and later as an LPN).  Basically, the flex position is like the nurse equivalent of a substitute teacher, and my recruiter said there are always hours available--to the point where it can become essentially a full-time job (without benefits--which I am not after anyway, thanks to Matt's AF Active Duty status).  I am beyond excited as I have been dying to enter the nursing field, but didn't want to do it at the expense of quality time with the kids.  I am hoping to maybe do 1 full shift per weekend and 1 half shift per week...or something like that.  Can't wait to see what's available!!  :o)

The kids are excited too.  My part time job pays just enough to cover their Montessori education, and enables my youngest to move to a slightly longer daily program (basically she gets to stay for lunch and nap--which she has been DYING to do--and which makes her much more even-tempered at home...normally she only likes to nap for non-family members--so she has been exhausted many days by 5pm prior to starting her school nap schedule).  The flexibility of these jobs also keeps me available to take the girls to swim lessons at the Y and to maintain my new position as a Daisy Scout leader (yikes!!).

Columbus Day 4-Day

One of the perks of being in the AF, from what we have experienced over the last 10 years anyway, is that, deployments and critical career fields aside, all federal holidays are off--and most are extended.  Matt was given an extra "family day" to stretch Columbus Day into a 4-day weekend--allowing many folks the chance to get out of town--and even head back home.  We have multiple friends making 12+hr treks to visit loved ones over the holiday.

Being that we just moved here, are all road-tripped out from the summer, traveled to OKC for Chuck E. Cheese last weekend, and I am driving the girls to New Orleans next weekend when they have 4 days off for parent-teacher conferences (which I am beyond excited to attend!), we have decided to hang out at home, hit up our favorite local hangout (Leonardo's), and watch football with some friends on Sunday.

The girls and I are doing movie night tonight (watching Disney's "Three Musketeers" multiple times, and hopefully squeezing in a Disney pumpkin halloween special) while Matt studies in the garage mancave, and I hopefully tackle NCLEX-PN review a little more seriously than I have been.  My job interviews have been going really well--and it looks like (knock on wood!) I may be offered a position where I am expected to obtain and use my new license very quickly.  Fortunately, my interview today went fantastically.  I had thought it was for a medical assistant position with extremely limited promotion potential--however, it turns out that position had already been filled and I was asked to  come in to meet with two hiring managers to interview for a variety of nursing positions.  I am supposed to hear back from them and also from the other hospital I interviewed at on Monday.  Both are offering extremely different schedules, and I am finding myself weighing whether I would like the kids to have a more regular schedule--but one that involves before and after care at their school--or more time at home, but babysitters up to three nights/mornings per week.  Either way, I am grateful to have so many opportunities to consider.  I am also taking a state Merit Test on Monday for an admin day job at a behavioral health clinic, which means I made it past round one of the hiring process there, as well.

Anyway, can you tell I have been preoccupied with the job search lately?  Grateful to have 4 days of family and friend time to enjoy!

The job hunt

Since leaving my nursing program in Edmond, in order to keep the family physically together--and to keep Matt's pilot training as low-stress as possible--I have been on the hunt for some sort of employment.  The girls are going to a wonderful Montessori school here and are enjoying the best educational program I have come across yet, over the course of our many moves.  It offers a wonderful before and after school program, that would allow both girls 3 hours of playtime together, plus lunch--and a nap for my youngest.  Its hours are 7:30-5:30, accommodating an 8-5 job perfectly.  However, finding such a job in my new field (nursing) is proving to be quite the challenge.

My first thought was to work at night, 3 days a week, during the 6p-6a shift as a Nurse Tech and eventually an LPN.  This would allow me to take the girls to/from school and sleep during their regular session (without adding on extended care) from 8:30-3.  However, Matt's schedule is erratic to the point that I would literally be scrambling to determine and arrange babysitting needs the night before or morning of each shift.  Not to mention his intermittent overnight flying sessions.  Plus, his study load and stress level are high enough as-is that I don't really want to count on him for any sort of regular parenting responsibilities over the next 18 months.  Pilot training has a significant washout rate, and if Matt is for some reason unable to complete this training, I certainly do not want it to be because of me.  In short, I am definitely feeling increasing pressure to find a position that I can fill independent of his schedule.

I am interviewing for the only 8-5 medical job I have found this Friday (a medical assistant at a nearby clinic), however it is not technically nursing (although its responsibilities are similar to those of the LPN).  The pay rate meets my minimum requirements, but there is really no room for advancement, and only the slightest room for a raise.  I'm not sure the daily ordeal of getting the girls to school by 7:30am would be worth it, as 8:30am is enough of a challenge for my oldest.  However, I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 5 1/2 years and I would like to return to work.  My kids enjoy school and extracurriculars and I would like to be able to provide the best opportunities I can for them.  Plus, really, while they are in school, there is a certain amount of cooking and cleaning I am freed up to do in the morning, but I like to stay extremely busy and I don't like to feel wholly financially dependent on my husband.  There is certainly a reason I've been taking college classes for the majority of the past 12 years.

My biggest challenge right now is deciding between: a) a job with significant room for professional growth, and a bona fide nursing position--but very difficult hours, b) a low-stress job with so-so pay, but great hours and routine skill requirements that may slightly help my nursing career in the long run, or c) capitalize on my finance/business-related degree and military managerial experience, as those jobs are my best paying options around here--it would be work I enjoy (I love busy, organizational, administrative-type tasks) and a great opportunity to save up some money.  I am planning to return to nursing school (for my RN or MSN) after Matt is through with pilot training, so it's not as though this is my one chance to capitalize on fresh credentials.  Additionally, once I pass the NCLEX-PN, I can take part in volunteer nursing opportunities--there are usually many available through our church.  If there is one thing I've learned as a military wife: flexibility is everything.

I really don't know.  From the response I've gotten from the apps I've submitted so far, it sounds like a) & b) are certainly viable options.  I've only just begun to explore option c) this afternoon--inspired by a friend's suggestion over the weekend--and a potential networking opportunity.  We will see...

Late nights are starting already...

Matt came home this afternoon, about half an hour before retreat, and I found myself thinking, "enjoy this while it lasts" as he will be starting his 12-hr shifts (still 5 days/week) at the end of this month, when he begins flightline training.  However, his late nights are already starting, as he opted to return to work this evening for a several-hour-long bout in the flight simulator.  He has his first "flight" in it tomorrow, which is about a 2 1/2 simulation (1hr prebrief, 1hr simulation, 1/2hr debrief).  It reminds me of my sim sessions in nursing school, which were always a mess--as I am beyond terrible at role-playing/pretending situations are real.  I even talk in a different voice when I am performing simulated nursing activities, lol.  He, thankfully, is much better at this sort of thing, and doesn't seem near as worked up as I've been before an evaluation (thankfully, in the few real-life emergency-type situations I've been in, I have kept a much cooler head and been able to effectively prioritize as opposed to trend toward perfectionism).

Seeing him walk through the door around 8:30pm, and knowing this is sort of thing is going to become a frequent occurrence, makes me wonder how on earth I can expect to hold down a decent (hopefully nursing-related) job over the next year.  Particularly when NO shift I have discovered thus far lines up with the girls' school schedule (even with on-site before/after care).  Matt's schedule literally changes from one day to the next, and he is not made aware of each day's plan until the evening prior...and, of course, everything is subject to change.  I just have to remind myself to take things one day at a time, be willing to get creative to make things work, and not let my urge to plan get the better of me.  :o/